Mina Kirkova, LCSW-C

Child, Adolescent, and Family Therapist

in Phoenix/Jacksonville, MD

NARRATIVE APPROACHES IN CHILD AND TEEN THERAPY

Narrative therapy is based on the idea that the stories we develop about ourselves can influence how we understand our experiences, relationships, strengths, and difficulties. These stories are shaped not only by individual experiences, but also by family relationships, culture, school, peers, and the expectations of the communities in which we live.

Children and teens can sometimes begin to define themselves through a problem. A child who struggles academically may begin to think, “I’m not smart.” A teen who feels uncomfortable socially may start to believe, “I don’t fit in anywhere.” When these conclusions become part of a young person’s identity, they can influence confidence, choices, relationships, and expectations about the future.

As a child, adolescent, and family therapist in Phoenix, MD, I may incorporate narrative approaches to help young people examine these stories, understand how they developed, and recognize experiences that do not fit the negative conclusions they have formed about themselves.

HOW STORIES CAN SHAPE IDENTITY

People naturally organize experiences into stories. We remember certain events, assign meaning to them, and connect them to ideas about who we are.

For example, a teen who remembers several embarrassing social experiences may begin to develop the story, “I’m awkward and people don’t like me.” Over time, experiences that seem to support that belief may receive more attention, while friendships, successful conversations, or moments of confidence may be overlooked.

Narrative work creates space to examine the larger picture. Instead of treating one negative conclusion as the complete story, we can explore other experiences, abilities, relationships, and choices that provide a fuller understanding of the young person.

SEPARATING THE CHILD FROM THE PROBLEM

An important narrative principle is that a problem does not have to become a child’s identity.

Instead of viewing a child as “an anxious child,” “an angry child,” or “a difficult child,” we can explore anxiety, anger, or conflict as experiences that affect the child but do not define who the child is.

This process is sometimes referred to as externalizing the problem. It can help children and teens examine how a difficulty affects their lives, when it becomes stronger or weaker, and what they already do that helps them respond differently.

For example, rather than asking, “Why are you so anxious?” we might explore questions such as:

When does worry seem to take over?
When is worry less powerful?
What helps you stand up to it?
What does worry try to convince you to believe?
What have you done that shows you are stronger than the worry sometimes suggests?

Externalizing and re-authoring problem-focused stories are recognized practices within narrative therapy.

IDENTIFYING STRENGTHS AND EXCEPTIONS TO THE PROBLEM

When children and teens are struggling, they may become highly focused on their mistakes, failures, or difficult experiences.

Narrative approaches encourage us to look for experiences that do not fit the dominant problem story.

A child who believes, “I can never control my anger,” may remember a situation in which they walked away from an argument or asked for help instead of yelling. A teen who thinks, “I always fail,” may recognize situations in which persistence, creativity, or determination helped them succeed.

These exceptions are important because they provide evidence of abilities and strengths that may have been overlooked.

In therapy, we can explore what the young person did differently, what helped, what that experience says about them, and how those strengths might be used again.

HELPING CHILDREN AND TEENS DEVELOP A MORE BALANCED STORY

Narrative therapy does not involve simply replacing a negative thought with a positive one.

Instead, the goal is to develop a richer and more complete understanding of the young person’s experiences.

A child might move from the story:

“I always mess things up.”

toward a more balanced understanding:

“Sometimes I make mistakes, especially when I am frustrated, but I am learning how to slow down, ask for help, and try again.”

A teen who has come to believe, “Nobody understands me,” might begin recognizing relationships in which they have felt accepted, moments when they communicated successfully, and qualities that help them connect with other people.

Over time, these experiences can contribute to a broader sense of identity that includes strengths, values, relationships, accomplishments, and possibilities for change.

CULTURE, FAMILY, AND SOCIAL CONTEXT

Narrative approaches also consider the cultural and social environments in which children and adolescents develop.

Ideas about success, behavior, family roles, gender, achievement, relationships, and emotional expression are influenced by families, schools, communities, cultural traditions, and broader social expectations.

Understanding these influences can be especially helpful when a child or teen feels pressure to meet expectations that conflict with their own values or experiences.

I try to understand each young person within the context of their family, culture, relationships, school environment, and community rather than viewing difficulties in isolation. Contemporary narrative therapy explicitly emphasizes relational, historical, socioeconomic, and cultural context.

NARRATIVE APPROACHES WITH CHILDREN

With younger children, narrative work can be incorporated into stories, drawings, play, puppets, or imaginative activities.

A child might create a character who is struggling with “The Worry Monster,” “The Anger Volcano,” or another problem. Together, we can explore when the problem appears, what gives it power, and what helps the character respond differently.

This can make difficult experiences easier to discuss while allowing the child to maintain some emotional distance from the problem.

Narrative techniques can therefore blend naturally with play-based and creative approaches in child therapy.

NARRATIVE APPROACHES WITH TEENS

Adolescence is a time when identity, independence, friendships, values, and future goals become increasingly important.

Teens may arrive in therapy with strong conclusions about themselves:

“I’m a failure.”

“I’m the problem in my family.”

“I’m not good enough.”

“I’ll never fit in.”

Narrative conversations can help teens examine where these conclusions came from, how much influence they have, and whether important parts of their experience have been left out of the story.

We can also explore the values and qualities the teen wants to represent in their life and identify experiences that support those preferred directions.

COMBINING NARRATIVE APPROACHES WITH OTHER THERAPIES

Narrative therapy does not have to be used as a stand-alone approach.

Depending on the needs of the child or teen, I may incorporate narrative techniques alongside cognitive behavioral therapy, solution-focused therapy, play therapy, art activities, mindfulness and relaxation strategies, parent coaching, and family therapy.

For example, CBT may help a teen examine an anxious thought, while a narrative approach can explore how anxiety has influenced the teen’s broader story about who they are.

The treatment approach is individualized according to the young person’s age, needs, strengths, family circumstances, and therapy goals.

GETTING STARTED WITH CHILD AND TEEN THERAPY IN PHOENIX, MD

If your child or teen is struggling with negative beliefs about themselves, emotional difficulties, relationship concerns, or challenges that are beginning to affect their confidence and identity, I welcome the opportunity to learn more about what is happening.

Please email me at mina@minacounseling.com to discuss your concerns, determine whether my services are a good fit for your child or adolescent, and inquire about my current availability.

I provide child, adolescent, and family therapy in Phoenix, Maryland, for families from Phoenix, Jacksonville, and surrounding communities.

Find out more about Narrative Therapy:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/narrative-therapy